Normal life

That was incredible. My dear, did you think you came back to the stable path? No way, not in this case.

There were a few days of silence. I wanted to break this and tell him how happy I am he's not in France were he could be in danger. What did I find out? During those days he had been mad at me, cause of 'something'. Stupid reason, as always. So we had a strong, deep conversation. But stupid as well. Conclusions: he doesn't see any sense in wanting to be together, he is far away from me, we cannot meet often, we are going to have thousands of misunderstandings again. I tryied to fight with his ''arguments''. No success. But mainly, I think it wasn't about arguments. He just decided. Nothing could change it. Were was the boy I used to be spending nights together on facebook, when we were both working abroad? Yes, that was another sleepless night spent on talking. But that was much different kind of conversation this time...

The most painful: I guess that was a goodbye chat.

I can say like Adele: ''At least I can say that I tried...''. Last Saturday night I tried everything. No effect. I give up. I seriously give up this time.

That was exactly the day when 6 months before he asked me first time to go with him to the mountains and our relation was started for good.

Again, half a year. All of my more serious relationships finish exactly after a half a year.

On Sunday night he sent me one message, when he was going to bed: ''Isn't your time gone?" (in the meaning my bed time). I replied simply: ''No way, I'm still very timeous''.

I can say that after that more last goodbye (we used to have a few goodbyes) I feel better then before. Cause I know there is no hope left. It helps a lot with healing.