Too much of easy-going attitude

Pretty often I happen to be in difficult heart situations, when if you want to follow your feelings, you can easily hurt the other person. It's happening this time as well...

From the top: I had a date with a boy two weeks ago, we spent amazing about 7 hours together, mainly dancing (you realise? first date, clubbing at once) and need to admit I have never danced with anyone that well. I mean he was on my level. Usually, when I go to the party, I'm one of the best dancing girls, that's only for the music feeling, all because I love making music so that I can feel it deeply. We've got a perfect contact, it's so easy to talk to each other, we are open, honest... But he's a smoker, definitely is a part of a diffrent social group, if you know what I mean (in his young life he tried a lot of things, not only good things...). We met second time and after that I was sure I can promise him only a friendship (yes, I know how they hate this...), so I tried to give our relationship direction to rather friendly path, but when I wrote him about it, he told me it's fine, he will help me with finding the way to this real feeling - love... I forgot to mention that I also told him that after my last relationship I feel I so badly don't want another one. Just friends. I like having boys as friends, I always catch a good contact with them.
Yesterday we had our third date, when I was supposed to tell him about the lines and borders very clearly... Of course, I didn't at all. We were in the cinema, he kept giving me verbal and also words' signs that he likes me a lot. Due to the long film we didn't have too much time for talking yesterday. And I didn't become brave enough to destroy his perfect evening. Yes, for me it was an amazing one too, but I hate myself fot making him hoping.

Our next meeting is agreed after my exams. So it might be a few weeks... For that time, I'll be thinking how not to hurt him. I need to give him clear signs finally!!! God, please help. Such a big harm I can make to him...

This song describes what I should do........................

New hopes and chances

Yes, I know, a lot of time, but you are already used to that, right?

Three months of new semester behind me, a lot of parties, dancings, visits, dates, shopping... You know I broke my fears and even loved swimming classes? I go to swim with my friends as often as possible, yuuhu, tomorrow another try.

During that time, I met many new people, girls and boys as well,  even international boys... Finally I focused on my friends and on MYSELF. I was doing everything that I wanted, the only obstacle could have been a must: you need to study hard for a test.
Now, with a lot of experience, ideas and hopes I'm starting a new year. I met a wonderful man, who might be someone important in my life. The only problem is, that the other one, completely not in my style, is still texting me and even though I tryied to be suggesting him I'm not interested at all, everyday he needs to send me messages... Oh God, I need to be more strict, I guess.

It's always so exciting to wait for what a new year is going to bring... Hopefully, not too much of bad luck...

With love, xoxo