Yeah, I know, after all there was no ''continue'' at all. I just couldn't talk about it. Thinking was too painful. I had exams, a few resits.
Ok, a short note about the ''continuation''. He ran away abroad, leaving me here without any ''goodbye''. Not even a word. Ok, there came a lot of pain in my life, I can't deny.
Over a month later, in half of February I wrote him that I probably will never understand what happened. And then... He started explaining himself. But I stayed tough. Although he said he knows he is not good for me cause his psycho makes him changing too often, it was not enough for me.
He told me a lot about his current life although I wasn't answering or commenting his messages at all. At the end of his stories I told him he doesn't want to keep quiet as he says, he wants to speak. There was a silence for another week after that.
And then he started again, saying I was right, he wants to talk. He is planning to climb over 3000 meters and I am the only one he wants to know about it. Cause, over there, he will be thinking about me. But I stayed tough.
Another day. He said he was asking me last time to go to mountains with him. Ok, I asked him when but for that weekend (last weekend in fact) I had already planned mountains with other friends. But then I started to talk. Everything changed. Those are different types of conversations. Like, I would say, more adult ones. We know we are friends and we need to talk or meet to live normally. But we rather aren't able to live like a couple one day.
Last weekend with another boy in mountains (he tried to hang out with me for last three months) and my friend who I took there cause I haven't seen her for a long time. It was ADORABLE. First of all: he is an amazing person. I could share my future with him. Have a stable life, with a lot of mountains at that (he is an alpinist).
Yesterday, after coming back, in the evening I met with the first one. We were sitting with an arm beside an arm, telling stories about our weekend's mountain adventures. That's how it ought to be. We have to be friends.
What have I notice? I look at him in totally different way. I'm not addicted at all.
I want to talk more with the super kind and smart boy from last weekend.
