The end of an another month

Yeah, I know, after all there was no ''continue'' at all. I just couldn't talk about it. Thinking was too painful. I had exams, a few resits.

Ok,  a short note about the ''continuation''. He ran away abroad, leaving me here without any ''goodbye''. Not even a word. Ok, there came a lot of pain in my life, I can't deny.
Over a month later, in half of February I wrote him that I probably will never understand what happened. And then... He started explaining himself. But I stayed tough. Although he said he knows he is not good for me cause his psycho makes him changing too often, it was not enough for me.

He told me a lot about his current life although I wasn't answering or commenting his messages at all. At the end of his stories I told him he doesn't want to keep quiet as he says, he wants to speak. There was a silence for another week after that.

And then he started again, saying I was right, he wants to talk. He is planning to climb over 3000 meters and I am the only one he wants to know about it. Cause, over there, he will be thinking about me. But I stayed tough.

Another day. He said he was asking me last time to go to mountains with him. Ok, I asked him when but for that weekend (last weekend in fact) I had already planned mountains with other friends. But then I started to talk. Everything changed. Those are different types of conversations. Like, I would say, more adult ones. We know we are friends and we need to talk or meet to live normally. But we rather aren't able to live like a couple one day.

Last weekend with another boy in mountains (he tried to hang out with me for last three months) and my friend who I took there cause I haven't  seen her for a long time. It was ADORABLE. First of all: he is an amazing person. I could share my future with him. Have a stable life, with a lot of mountains at that (he is an alpinist).
Yesterday, after coming back, in the evening I met with the first one. We were sitting with an arm beside an arm, telling stories about our weekend's mountain adventures. That's how it ought to be. We have to be friends.

What have I notice? I look at him in totally different way. I'm not addicted at all.
I want to talk more with the super kind and smart boy from last weekend.

Stop being so addicted!!!

Dear God, I swear I will write a book about this whole story, it cannot be wasted.

So since our totally-breaking-up-conversation in November, we hadn't talked for three weeks. But during this time, he used to be sending me small messages, like links, movies etc. Sometimes I was answering with just a few words, sometimes not answering at all.

Finally, on weekend 4th-6th December there came my long-waited Mountain's Festival; three days full of mountain movies, lectures of world-wide known climbers etc. On Saturday he sent me a link with a programme of this Festival. I told him I know it very well, I am attending that. He was shocked. But that was about mountains, so not thinking a lot we started a fast conversation... By an accident he came back to us... But I told him he ended any of ''us'' during the chat in November. He explained it somehow, not really clever reason...
We were talking and came to the point we both still would like to be together... That was sick. After a while we decided it's just not possible 'cause we would still be fighting and his emotional side of life is not adult enough...
But of course, it wasn't the end...

After a few days I sent him a link to a mountain movie... We started to talk, he was drunk after a company meeting, so he was truely cute and honest, even proposing me a marriage...
Next night, another chat, and another one - the other, finished by his call... We were finally talking...

After a few days he went freak again and started to talk something stupid, in the end stopped talking at all.

So Christmas time came, I hated him. After Christmas he sent me a link again... I ignored it.
On 28th December, Monday, he sent me a message with a proposition to go with him and his friends to mountains... I agreed cheerfully but later I found out I cannot go, I have a serious internship's interview that day... But the same day, he invited me for the New Year's Eve organised by him and his flatmates...

To be continued...