Dear Readers,
Again I totally messed up with writing here... This was caused by my really busy semester... Maaaaaany things were happening... I feel I need to throw it all out of me.
So I passed all my final exams on first dates again, only thank to God.
The whole 4 months I have been dating with the same boy. Of course, for such a long time, I could have noticed a lot of things: his advantages and disadvantages too... His being jealous leaded to our first argument... It seemed really serious and I thought it was the end. But I forgave it all and we went on together.
Next months: I could have felt he feels only more confident beside me and he trusted me hugely. This his trust to me let him to act very natural; for the first times I heard him swearing and I noticed in him... a child. A big, but still child... Playing computer games, enforcing me to treat lightly my family and be coming back to the city earlier and be leavig later, to spend time with him if he needed to stay there like I was his nanny and being veeery sad if I didn't do it... (normally, he comes back home weekly). And his fear of animals (which I adore, as you know)...
Very often I feel like I AM a man in this relationship, he seems to be so sensitive! When I am dressed very...hmm, womanly - he does not notice a thing (or at least is not saying a thing like: ''you look like so nice today!''). On the contrary - he often says unpleasant words about my body figure (''just joking'') - I work out regularly, I have a body of athlete - but those words really hurt.
Summing up, I notice his being totally unadult. But I got stuck, I cannot move from this place... His family knows a lot about me and wants to meet me someday, I could not leave him now, what would the family think about me... But on the other hand, I just DO NOT want to be leaving him. But he totally needs to be more like a man... If only I could, I would send him to an army - there he would learn everything, that he is missing...
I do not know what to do...
In 2 days I am going to France for a month. Nowadays, I am having a speed course of French done by myself, heh. This is a difficult but beautiful language. I cannot wait to get there!
And I will have soooo much time to be thinking over the whole situation described above! This is a huge plus of this travel.
Cee ya soon!
